Attending a Play Party?

Attending a Play Party? Don't Be This Person...
While it may frustrate us at TW that we at times have to educate people on proper etiquette both online and in person, we also know that we have a responsibility to all our members to provide a safe, respectful and consent positive venue. We thank one of our experienced members for the providing
the information below. His experience, knowledge and respect is what makes our community strong. 

Please read and share.

Thank you.
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Swingers parties are social events where consenting adults engage in sexy socializing which can result in open and consensual sexual activities. However, it is important for newcomers to realize that just because people are attending a Pineapple party, that does not mean that they are consenting to sexual activities with everyone, or anyone for that matter.

There is a long history of bias towards single men in the swinging community going back as far as there have been swinger events. Many clubs don’t allow single men to attend at all, and others charge them much, much more than they charge couples or single women. It is important to note that while the common trope is "creepy single guy," these behaviors are creepy regardless of gender and whether or not the person is flying solo or is part of a couple or group.

Common complaints about the behavior of single guys at swinger parties may vary, but a list of common concerns that have been raised include:

Aggressive Behavior
Complaints of single men exhibiting aggressive or pushy behavior, making others feel uncomfortable or pressured, are common. In the sexually charged environment of a swingers event, single men can find themselves talking with someone they are attracted to, thinking it is going well, and then touching them in a flirty way. A hand on their leg, back, etc. is not an uncommon way of escalating an interaction, but if you only get one thing from this writing, let it be this: DO NOT touch someone in an overtly sexual way without their verbal consent, and DO NOT continue to casually touch someone you don’t know (putting your hands on their back, grabbing their hand or leg, etc) when they haven’t reciprocated your touch or level of interest.

Many people have a hard time saying no to this kind of touch, even when they are not interested or not comfortable, so do everyone a favor and pay attention to social cues. 

Failure to Respect Boundaries
Single men have a reputation for being a much higher risk for not respecting the boundaries set by others and not adhering to the rules established for the swinger event. So be extra cognizant of peoples boundaries. If you don’t know, don’t make assumptions, ASK.

Lack of Discretion
Single guys may sometimes lack discretion, openly discussing or making advances without considering the privacy and discretion expected in swinger communities. Understanding party etiquette and rules are your responsibility and never an excuse for lack of discretion.

Overbearing/ Pushy Presence:
Complaints about the presence of single men intruding on or affecting the desired dynamics of people who have decided to play, are fairly common. An example of this is when people decide to play and then a single guy enters the play space and invites themselves to participate, or worse, starts trying to participate directly without having established any connection beforehand. While there are exceptions, as a general rule single men should not join play with couples or groups who haven’t invited them to, before the play starts.

It's important to note that these concerns are not exclusive to single men and can apply to individuals of any gender or relationship status. Communication, respect for boundaries, and adherence to established “house” rules are crucial for a positive and enjoyable swinger party.

Our (TW)  House Rules